


The Da Vinci Problem

by AgentSprings



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Domestic nonsense, F/F, F/M, Fake AH Crew, Fluff, Immortal Fake AH Crew, It's a heist, M/M, heist nonsesne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-10 17:13:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13506084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentSprings/pseuds/AgentSprings
Summary: Some old paintings of Ryan have resurfaced and he needs them back. Enter Jon and Meg to help him get them back.





	1. The Beginning

Ryan was glad to be home and with his boyfriend for the first time in a long time. The last job that the Fake AH Crew had run had left them hiding from the police a lot longer than they were originally planning. Even worse, when he finally got back to their shared apartment it turned out that Jon was on an assignment for the news company he worked for and wouldn’t be able to come back to the apartment for another week. But now all of that was in the past, Jon’s assignment had ended and he had just gotten home.

“Now, at last we have some alone time,” Ryan said, pulling him close. Jon grinned and pushed him down onto the couch. Ryan wrapped his arms around his waist and leaned in to kiss him. Of course just before they could kiss Ryan’s phone went off. 

“Ryan, please. Ignore it, it’s been three weeks,” Jon started trying to reach for Ryan’s phone. Ryan got to it first and held it away from Jon’s grabby hands. He glanced at the caller ID and groaned before sitting up and dislodging Jon and pushing him to the ground.

“This had better be really important Meg,” He said, rubbing his eyes. Jon sat up from the ground and sighed deeply. Ryan gave him an apologetic look before he leaned back and focused on the call.

“Well grumpy pants, I was just calling to let you know that another one has surfaced. But if you don’t think that it’s such a big deal then I’ll go,” Meg said.

“No! Sorry Meg, where?” Jon sprawled himself across Ryan’s lap and glared at him. Ryan started to run his fingers through his hair in apology.

“Well, since you asked so nicely I’ll tell you that Devin Weston bought it, along with about 6 other pieces of art. He’s having an unveiling in a week. You and me working together can probably handle everything.” 

At that Jon’s head snapped up and snatched the phone from Ryan’s hand.

“I think the fuck you won’t! I just got back and I haven’t seen Ryan in weeks and you aren’t going to drag him off alone into another job!” 

“Hi, Jon! If you want to come on the job you probably should ask Ryan, but I would love to have you work with us.”

“Jon, Jon give me my phone,” Ryan was reaching for his phone but Jon jumped up and ran into the kitchen.

“I would love to run a job with you! Send me the information, or come over! In about 3 hours! Don’t come before that. Love you bye,” Jon hung up the phone and spun around just as Ryan entered the kitchen.

“Babe,” He looked exasperated as Jon held out his phone with a grin. 

“Yes dear,” Jon’s tone was utterly sarcastic.

“I did want to know what the end of the call was going to be.”

“Well, Meg is probably going to come over in three hours to give you the information. Which means I have three hours with you all to myself,” Jon wrapped his arms around Ryan’s neck. Ryan grinned down at him for a second before he scooped him up and dropped him unceremoniously on the counter.

“So what do you want for dinner?” He opened the fridge and started to rifle through it, pulling stuff out and putting it on the island.

“Uh, Ryan? Babe? Sex?”

“See, that sounded great before you invited my little sister over for dinner. Now I need to make dinner and get ready for her to come over.”

“Isn’t she older than you?” 

“Technically in terms of years alive on this planet yes. However, I am older in the physical sense.”

“Not much of a little sister then,” Jon was in full on pout mode.

“You think of her the same way, don’t even lie. Now be a dear and help me prep something nice for dinner,” Ryan pulled out his phone and sent off a text.

“Fine. But I demand that you don’t run off and leave me for another week.”

“Deal,” Ryan leaned over and pressed a kiss to Jon's cheek. Jon wraps an arm around his neck and pulls him in for a real kiss before he let a handful of flour rain down on his head. Ryan jerks back with a surprised yell before staring at him with a betrayed look.

“Jon. This means war,” Ryan flung himself back, flipping over the island and grabbing food as he went.

“Ryan, wait,” Before he could get another sound out three eggs in a row hit him in the chest. He could hear Ryan cackling from behind the island. “You bitch!” 

“You love me.”

Jon crept forward and grabbed a can of whipped cream and started to unload it on Ryan’s head. “Ah yes, I do love you.”

Ryan whirled around and threw more eggs at him. Jon laughed and grabbed some leftover noodles and dumped it on his head. They spent the next forty-five minutes running around the island throwing food at each other. It ended when Ryan pinned Jon to the counter and dumped a gallon of milk over both of their heads. 

“Well, I see I was right to grab some food,” They heard a voice come from the entrance to the kitchen. They both looked up and saw Meg standing there holding several bags of takeout.

“Oh. Shit. Hey Meg,” Jon said looking at her and then at the mess that was their kitchen.

“Hey, Meg. Just you or should we expect your three partners to come bursting into the room?”

“Just me, after all this is a top-secret mission,” Meg turned and walked back into the dining room with the food. Jon and Ryan took a second to look at each other before they scrambled after her.

“So, what did you bring for us?” Jon asked going to sit at the table. Meg pointed at him and he froze. 

“Before the two of you get food you need to clean yourselves up. I know this table and these chairs and they are antiques. So go at least change and rinse out your hair,” She made shooing motions with her hands. Ryan and Jon scrambled to the back bathrooms to change and rinse off.

“Why does our little sister get to boss us around in our own home?” Jon asked from the shower while Ryan was searching for clothes.

“Because she can kill us in far more creative ways than we can kill her.”

“Yeah that’s very true,” once more Meg’s voice popped up where it shouldn’t and Jon shrieked. Ryan popped his head into the bathroom and saw Meg hanging upside down from the ac vent in the ceiling.

“Meg, leave Jon alone. C’mon let’s go set up the dining room,” Ryan gestured at her and then turned and left the room. Meg dropped from the ceiling, waved at Jon, and followed Ryan out of the room. Jon rested his head against the wall of the shower and tried to convince his heart that beating at a normal speed was alright.

“Alright, tell me about this job,” Jon said as he flung himself down at the table.

“So you know how Ryan and I are like hundreds of years old. Well, I am much older than Ryan and I met him when he was still pretty young, back before he found out that he was immortal. I had taken him under my wings even before we knew that he would live forever. Well, he looked like a model back then and I decided that I wanted us to pose for some paintings. I wanted something to remember him by when he inevitably passed on and we didn’t think much of it at the time. Fast forward about a hundred years and Ryan is immortal and we no longer have the paintings in our possession,” Meg paused to take a bite of her food. 

“You were a male model?” Jon was delighted.

“I was a male model in the early late 1400s. So I guess?”

“Who painted you?”

“Oh, that’s the best part. It was his boyfriend at the time, Leonardo da Vinci,” Meg said with a grin. Jon’s eyes lit up and he grinned at his boyfriend.

“Oh shut up.”

“Anyway. Right now our main goal is to keep those paintings out of the eyes of Ryan’s crew. Every time that one of those paintings pop up around the area we steal it first. Right now I think we have seven out of ten. And the eighth has just popped up.”

“Why is it so important to keep it out of the eyes of the Fakes?”

“Ryan, you wanna field that one?” Meg asked causing Ryan to bury his face in his hands and groan.

“It’s cause I’m naked in one of them,”

“The only one he did alone. I found out about 200 years later when I saw it in a targets house.”

“I assume it was a shock?”

“To look up and see the naked painting of my older brother? Yeah, it was a little weird.”

“So will it just be the three of us?” Ryan said. 

“Yeah, the unveiling is in a week so let’s get planning,” With that, she pulled out a stack of papers and dropped them on the desk.


	2. Planning

“I have the best news!” Jon announced as he came into the apartment.

“What is it dear?” Ryan asked from the table, where he was hunched over a pile of house plans.

“I just got assigned to cover the unveiling of Devin Weston’s new art acquisitions and the party. Which means I have a way into the party that is not connected to you or Meg,” Jon threw his jacket onto a dining chair before draping himself over Ryan’s back.

“Perfect! Meg and I are going on as the Turney siblings. She already got the invitation and it had a plus one. Completely legitimate. Now, all we have to do is figure out how the hell to get the painting out of the damn building.”

“You’ll figure it out. Are you still trying to figure out how to get the whole system offline?”

“Yeah. The problem is the lights and the security system. They’re on two separate power systems with the only ways to turn the whole thing off being in two separate places. And when one goes off they’re gonna notice.”

“We could always bring in the others.”

“No, not with this picture. Trust me Jon, we don’t want them involved.”

“Alright fine, by the way, you never told me what the painting was,” Jon stood up and headed for the kitchen.

“It’s the one of me naked,” Jon froze.

“Ryan. Darling. Light of my life. You’re telling me this man is about to reveal a painting of you naked?”

“It was the renaissance dear. Everyone was being painted naked.”

“Yes, but not all of them are still alive and have partners who want that painting,” Jon had regained control of his limbs and went into the kitchen.

“Jon? Wait, Jon? Do you really want it?” Jon could hear Ryan walking towards the kitchen. 

“Of course. I want to see it and all the other ones you collected. I’ve never seen young Ryan and I’m very excited to.”

“Well, if you’re sure you want to see it then something can be arranged,” Ryan pulled Jon in for a kiss. Jon smiled into the kiss before he pulled away.

“Don’t forget Meg and the others are coming for dinner. And you still need to clean up the heist plans.”

“Right. I forgot,” Ryan pulled away and ran a hand through Jon’s hair. 

“Nope. Go clean up, I’m going to start dinner,” Jon pulled away and started to pull out pans and bowls.

“Yes sir!” Ryan mock saluted at him before moving back into the dining room and started collecting the plans. He took them all back to their bedroom and tucked them up in the back of his closet. He double checked the house for any loose plans that may tell the boys and Lindsay what they were gonna do.

“Alright. Apartment clean of evidence! How’s dinner coming?” Ryan stepped back into the kitchen just in time to see Jon slide something into the oven.

“Done, it just has to cook,” Jon turned and smiled at him.

“Does that mean we have time to-“ before he could finish the thought the doorbell rang. Ryan groaned while Jon laughed.

“Your sister has the best timing.”

Ryan gave Jon a halfhearted glare before going to the door.

“Hey everyone, who’s ready for murder,” Ryan said pulling open the door.

“Do you always answer the door like that Ryan?” Lindsay asked as they walked into the apartment.

“Only when I know who’s coming,” he watched as Gavin and Michael exchanged money as they walked past him. He rolled his eyes before hugging Meg.

“Welcome welcome,” Jon said coming out of the kitchen. He hugged Lindsay and Michael before leading the party to the living room.

“We have about 30 minutes until dinner so I think it’s time for Mario Kart. 4 players so Ryan you and three of them? The loser of each race swaps out.” Jon said dropping down on the couch and throwing a controller at Michael. He caught it and dropped down next to him.

“Sounds like a plan Rismonger. Meg, you’re in too, team winners all the way,” Michael said picking up another controller and throwing it to her.

“Team winners,” Meg said, catching it and grinning at him. Lindsay, Ryan, and Gav all looked at each other before running for the last controller. Ryan dove down on Gav’s legs at the last second letting Lindsay win.

“Ryan! You mincy little prick!” Gavin yelled while Lindsay grabbed the controller and did a little dance.

“Listen, I didn’t need to win. I just needed you to not win,” Ryan said, standing back up and going over to Jon.

“Well that’s rude Ryan.”

“Gavin shut the fuck up and sit down,” Michael said, grabbing his arm and pulling him down onto the couch next to himself. They spent the next 30 minutes alternating players until Michael threw his controller and embedded it into the wall. This led to thirty seconds of everyone just staring at the controller in dead silence.

“So, how long until dinner?” Lindsay asked standing up and going over to the controller.

“It’s in about, 2 minutes. Leave that in the wall,” Ryan said, standing up and dragging Gavin and Meg into the kitchen. “Jon I want to frame that! We’ll get dinner ready.”

“Alright Ryan,” Jon rolled his eyes before standing up and turning everything off.

“So Jon, what have you and Ryan been up to since he’s been back?” Michael asked, pulling out his phone to take a picture of Lindsay and the controller.

“Not a whole lot really. I still had to go into work every day so we’re just keeping a low profile and Ryan is winding down.”

“So no new plans?”

“Other than having you guys over for dinner? Not really.”

“Hmmmm,” Michael was watching him closely and Jon was starting to feel uncomfortable.

“Dinner!” Ryan called, leading Meg and Gavin out of the kitchen and into the dining room. Michael and Lindsay walked towards the food while Jon collected himself before following them.

“You alright dear?” Ryan pulled Jon to the side after seeing the look on his face.

“Did Gavin ask you about what we’ve been up to? Or if we had any heists planned?”

“No? Did he ask you?”

“Michael did. I don’t know if they know something or if he’s just making conversation.”

“No idea, either way it doesn’t matter. They can’t know so we won’t tell them,” Ryan pulled him into a kiss before smiling at him.

“You’re right, let’s eat,” Jon caught his hand and they joined the other four at the table. After they finished eating Meg stood up and grabbed Ryans arm.

“Alright, you guys clean up because I need to go talk to my brother,” She dragged him out of the room and back to the master bedroom.

“Alright Ryan, I decided that it would be safer for our tickets to the event to be kept here with you and Jon rather than at home with my nosey partners. It’s formal wear so you’ll need a tux, and because he’s a dramatic asshole it’s a masked event so you’ll get to wear at least a half mask. Cover your eyes and all that.”

“Good. Jon has a press pass into the event. I think that if we send have one of us to the power grid controlling the lights and another to the one for the security system the last one can grab the painting and get out before anyone notices.”

“I think this is a weak ass plan but I don’t think we have enough time to come up with anything better. It’ll probably work and if it doesn’t work we pull just a smash and grab and burn the place down behind us.”

“Now you sound like Michael.”

“It was bound to happen eventually. You and Jon sound like each other all the time,” Meg jabbed him in the side before laughing. Before Ryan could retaliate there was a banging on the door.

“Hey assholes! Gavin and Lindsay want ice cream for dessert and we’re gonna go out and find some. Come on!”

“Alright Michael!” Meg called back. She pulled the invitations to the event out of her boots and handed them to Ryan. Ryan walked over to the closet and tucked them into a secret panel where he kept his Vagabond stuff. Once everything was in place they headed out to the living room where their partners were waiting.

“About time! It’s ice cream time bitches!” Lindsay cheered grabbing Jon and Gavin before running out the front door. Michael ran after them yelling at them that they had forgotten everything.  
Meg and Ryan followed at a slower pace making sure to lock the house and that they had their wallets and keys.

“Three days,” Meg whispered to him before they caught up with their partners and headed down to the garage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://ryanthemadbitch.tumblr.com/)


	3. The Heist

Ryan straightened his tie and ran his hands down his suit jacket. He hated running jobs outside of his mask, but these paintings could not fall into the wrong hands. The question remained who the wrongs hands were but Ryan maintained that the wrong hands were everyone’s but his own. 

“Now that’s the best ass I’ve seen in 300 years of being alive,” Ryan could see Jon leaning against the door behind him in the mirror in his press outfit.

“I knew you were only with me for my body,” he teased, turning around and smirking at him.

“Oh of course dear. That’s why I want the naked painting of you.”

“Ah, you gonna put it up on display? Because if you are I think I’m going to have to move.”

“I am definitely going to put it up on display, I never said I was going to put it up here,” Jon walked up to Ryan and tugged on his tie. Ryan grinned at him and leaned in for a kiss. Jon grinned into the kiss before pressing in to deepen it, pulling Ryan back towards their bed.

“I’m not sure we have time,” Ryan said, breaking the kiss.

“We could make the time,” Jon said, pulling him back down.

“Every fucking time!” Meg’s voice rang out through the room causing Jon to shove Ryan off of him and the bed.

“Fuck! Meg! Why!?” Ryan demanded.

“We have to leave Ryan! Remember? The heist to rescue your naked ass painting. Do you guys understand timing? Because I’m pretty sure every time I show up you’re trying to fuck.”

“Listen, maybe you just have the bad timing,” Jon says, standing up and straightening out his jacket.

“Jon, darling, if you don’t leave right now you will actually be late. You remember what to do?” Meg had her arms crossed and was glaring at him. Jon looked at her for a second before deciding that yes, an angry Meg was scary.

“Yes, Meg. Love you, Ryan! I’ll see you guys there,” Jon waved quickly at Ryan who was still laying on the ground before running out the door.

“As for you-” Meg started turning to Ryan.

“Nope. I’m not being told what to do by you, little sister. I know what to do Meg,” He said as he pulled himself up off of the ground. 

“Alright, Rye-Bread. You got everything?” She said, walking over and straightening out his jacket and redoing his tie.

“Yes, Meg. I am a professional, I have actually done this before.”

“I know but I worry about you. You were pretty hopeless when I first found you,” Meg grinned at him before dancing out of the way of the smack that he threw at her. He fake glared at her for a moment before he relented and threw an arm around her shoulder. 

“Alright kid, let’s go get my naked ass.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Tickets,” The guard at the door glared at the two of them. Meg and Ryan gave him their signature “we are models and beautiful and not dangerous at all good sir why would you think that” smiles as they handed him their tickets. “Mr. and Ms. Turney? Of course, go right on through.”

“Thank you,” Meg smiled again at him as they walked past, gently bumping into him and lifting his wallet on the way. 

“You’re a nightmare little sister,” Ryan said as she handed him the wallet after taking the money. He slipped the wallet into a passing waiters pocket before taking two drinks, handing one to Meg before taking a drink from his own.

“But you wouldn’t have me any other way.”

“Never,” Ryan grinned at her before surveying the room. He could see the red curtain covering what he assumed was the painting, Jon mingling with various celebrities on the other side of the room, and Devin Weston was standing across the room from the painting talking with a few people.

“When Jon goes towards the back of the house that will be the signal that we need to start,” Meg said, reaching up and adjusting his mask before she turned and melted into the crowd. Ryan waited for a few moments before he went to stand near Weston, waiting to be approached. He didn’t need to wait for more than a minute or two before Weston got interested in him.

“Well, I don’t think I’ve seen you around before which is quite a shame. My name is Devin Weston, and you are?”

“James, James Turney,” Ryan said, smiling and shaking his hand keeping his eyes on the hallway Jon was supposed to go down.

“Well, Mr. Turney. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Can I ask, are you related to Meg Turney?”

“I am, I’m her older brother,” Ryan said before he noticed Jon slipping off towards the back. “And she seems to have disappeared. Excuse me.”

Ryan could feel Weston’s eyes on his back as he moved into the crowd, walking towards the painting. He glanced down at his watch and started the countdown, Meg and Jon had three minutes to get into position before they were going to blow the power grids. So all he had to be was patient. He could see Meg at the side of the room, starting to edge towards the side door. Right before she got to the door the whole house was rocked by an explosion.

Ryan and Meg froze and made eye contact for a split second before the entire house descended into pandemonium. Everyone started screaming and running for the back exits while the security guards ran for the front door. Meg took two steps towards him before the front door blew open and in walking Michael, Gavin, and Lindsay in full Fake AH Crew get up. 

“Mothers and Fuckers of the rich. Thank you for gathering here today. If everyone would be so kind as to lay down on the ground it would be much appreciated,” Michael shouted, firing his minigun into the ceiling. Everyone was still running around and one of the security guards pulled out a gun and went to shoot Michael, but was cut down by Gavin. That movement was what snapped Ryan out of his shock and he turned immediately and just grabbed the painting, frame and all, and ripped it from the wall. The alarm started blaring but among the other commotion it barely registered and Ryan broke into a run for the side door where Meg was waiting. 

“I said down on the fucking ground assholes,” A bullet slammed into the wall next to Ryan’s head but he didn’t even slow down, he just flipped them off and slipped out the door. He could hear Meg swearing behind him as they ran, mostly cursing her partners and swearing that she was going to kill them all slowly and painfully. The two of them made it all the way down to their escape car without any issues.

“Should we wait for Jon or just get the fuck out?” Meg asked climbing into the passenger seat. Ryan slammed into the driver's seat after tossing the painting in the back seat.

“I think he’ll be fine. He was further in the building and I don’t think they even knew where he was. We should just get the fuck out of here before your fucking partners fuck this up any more than they already have.”

“Yeah. I’m going to kill them, I swear.”

“Not if I get to them first.”

“How about this, we both kill them, you can kill them first. And then I’ll wait for a while and kill them when they least expect it.”

“Deal,” Ryan said as he peeled out of the area.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://ryanthemadbitch.tumblr.com/)


	4. The End

The luck that Ryan and Meg used to escape the house didn’t quite follow them all the way back to Ryan’s. As the left the neighborhood they caught the attention of a few of the cops that were heading to Weston’s.

“Fuck. Do you have your gun?” Ryan asked as he swerved to avoid the cops.

“Do you even have to ask?” Meg rolled down her window and leaned out to start shooting.

“And now I have to fucking ditch the goddamn car. I’m going to kill them all,” Ryan jerked the wheel hard and they flew down a side street. 

“If you take this all the way through it will spit us out next to that red parking garage. We can ditch the car and grab another, the cops missed the turn off so they won’t know where we went if we go fast enough,” Meg said as she pulled her upper body back into the car. Ryan nodded and sped down the alley to the main road, spotting the garage instantly. They could hear sirens but they didn’t see any cop cars yet.

“So, your partners are the worst,” Ryan pointed out as he pulled into the parking garage

“I know, trust me I know. I bet Michael just let Gavin and Lindsay make a plan and gave them the shit they needed,” Meg turned around and started to rifle around in the back. “Ah! I knew I had spares.”

“Spare what?” Ryan pulled into a spot on the third floor and turned off the car.

“Spare clothes. We can’t be running around in a gown and tux Rye. Here,” Meg pushed a bundle of clothes into his arms. He looked at them and then back at her. She was already pulling off the red wig that she wore while she was trying to be more inconspicuous, letting her dyed purple hair free.

“Meg, I’m not wearing this,” He held up a pair of floral leggings and a tank top. “Why do you even have this in my size?”

“Well, it’s either that or the tux, which the cops saw you in. Just put it on Ryan, so we can go back to your house and make sure that your boyfriend is still alive and plan how to kill my partners.”

Ryan grumbled but started pulling on the outfit, listening closely for the cops. 

“Here,” Meg tossed a snapback towards him as soon as he was dressed. He glanced over and saw that she was wearing the same outfit as himself

“Meg. Meg, I love you, but what the fuck is this? Why are we wearing the same thing and why do you have this?”

“It’s better for you not to ask questions. Just put on the hat and grab the painting while I go hotwire a car,” Meg stood up from the car and disappeared amongst the other cars.

“I will always question you, Meg,” Ryan called after her as he pulled on the hat and climbed out of the car. He watched as her middle finger appeared over one of the cars, waving in his directions before she disappeared again. He grabbed the painting and went in the direction that Meg had disappeared, wandering until one of the cars turned over.

“A minivan?” Ryan asked as he opened the back and put the painting in.

“I figured it would be pretty inconspicuous,” Meg said, glancing at him in the rearview mirror.

“Yeah, but your choice of outfits seems to say that you don’t want to be inconspicuous,” Ryan closed the rear door but still saw her flip him off again. He laughed as he went to the passenger side door and climbed in.

“Alright buckle up asshole. It’s my turn to drive,” Meg said, throwing the car into reverse and pressing on the gas hard enough that Ryan was jerked forward.

“Again, inconspicuous Meg.”

“Fine,” Meg slowed down and got them out of the parking garage.

“Look there aren't even any cops. I didn’t even have to change.”

“Well too late to change back. C’mon I bet your boyfriend wants to see the painting of naked young Ryan.”

They made it back to Ryan and Jon’s apartment without any trouble, driving past a few cop cars and one roadblock. Meg guided the car into the apartments private garage, which was the first time they both relaxed completely since the whole thing started. 

“There’s Jon’s car. I’m glad he made it out and back here without trouble,” Meg said pointing at the car before glancing over and realizing that Ryan had already booked it for the elevator with the painting. She rolled her eyes and started to follow before the sounds of cheering and laughing hit her.

Ryan saw her pause in the middle of the garage and he considered stopping but he decided that finding out if Jon was injured took precedence.

“I’ll meet you upstairs!” He called to her as he got into the elevator. He saw her nod and then start walking towards the entrance of the garage before the doors closed between them. He tapped his foot impatiently as the elevator took him up to his floor.

“Finally,” he muttered as the door opened and he saw his apartment door. He hefted the painting in his arms and hurried to his door.

“Jon!” Ryan knocked on the door, realizing he left his keys in the first car. He waited for a second before he could hear Jon moving around in the apartment.

“Hey de-“ Jon’s voice cut out as soon as he saw Ryan.

“Please don’t say anything,” Ryan said walking into the apartment and handing him the painting. Jon took it still gaping at Ryan, who moved further into the apartment before he also froze.

“Jon, dear, darling, light of my life. What is on the couch?”

“What is on your legs?”

“Leggings that Meg had. Your turn,” Ryan said, moving slowly towards the couch.

“It’s a puppy,” Jon said finally unfreezing and coming up behind him.

“I thought we were just stealing a painting, where did you find a dog?” Ryan knelt down in front of the puppy and offered his hand for it to sniff.

“She was being neglected! I found her in a room at Weston’s,” Jon sat down next to Ryan and rubbed the dog’s head.

“So you didn’t even make it to your mark?” Ryan grinned at him. Jon shoved at his shoulder before grinning too.

“You would have done the same thing Vagabitch. She was curled up in the corner of a tiny cage and just whining away. Look at how tiny she is, she’s definitely underfed.”

“And you want to keep her?”

“I’m going to keep her, I’ve already named her and tomorrow I’m going to go get everything she needs,” Jon said climbing onto the couch and picking her up. She licked his hands and started wiggling around.

“Oh yeah? What’s her name?”

“Memphis,” Jon said, sitting down and putting the puppy in his lap. Ryan crossed his arms over Jon’s legs and rested his head on them. Immediately the puppy crawled over and started sniffing at his face before giving him a big kiss.

“Alright, I love her,” Ryan said, scratching behind her ears.

“Good, cause we’re keeping her forever,” Jon ran his fingers through Ryan’s hair and smiled at him. “Wasn’t Meg with you? Where’s she?”

“She saw something in the garage and stayed down there. She should be up here soon,” as soon as Ryan got the sentence out there was a knock on the door. Ryan stood up and went to open the door, revealing Meg holding a gun on her partners.

“Hey Rye, I brought you a present,” Meg said pushing them into the apartment. Ryan grabbed a gun from a holder next to the door and pointed it at them too.

“Aww Meg, you always get me the best gifts,” he glanced back at Jon and saw that he was just petting the dog and watching.

“I don’t know why you fucks are so pissed. We helped you if nothing else,” Michael grumbled rolling his eyes.

“You ruined a heist that was very carefully planned you assholes. Why the fuck would you do that?” Meg demanded, pressing the gun into his back. Gavin and Lindsay exchanged a look before they grinned and yelled in unison “Chaos bitches!” 

“Nope. I don’t care anymore. Get out of my house,” Jon stood up, setting the puppy down on the couch and started waving them out. 

“You don’t want them to die?” Ryan asked.

“Nope, I want to have sex with you because this shit has stopped us from doing that three different times. I want to snuggle with my dog. I want to do a lot of things that don’t involve you murdering our friends in the living room. Now get the fuck out.”

Everyone blinked at him for a second before Ryan was shoving people out the door. 

“Ryan!”

“Sorry, Meg! I’ll call you in like 3 days! Love you bye!” He managed to get them all out the door and slam it shut.

“So Ryan darling, what do you say we finally have that alone time you promised me a week ago,” Jon wrapped his arms around Ryan’s waist. Ryan didn’t respond, just pulled him into a kiss before leading him back to the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who read this!! <3  
> Find me on [Tumblr](https://ryanthemadbitch.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://ryanthemadbitch.tumblr.com/)


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